


Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Chains can Never hold Me

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, One Shot, Other, Slurs, im kinda surprised that i didnt use much cuss words, ryuji punches a dude but he deserved it so its cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21548749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ryuji's first year of high school, and the fight he gets in.and ya know... questioning sexuality
Kudos: 12





	Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Chains can Never hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like 2 years ago but never posted it because it was supposed to be this big long pegoryu fic and i liked the trope of over coming internalized homophobia. My writing style when i got done with ryujis pov and switched to akiras pov changed dramatically like,,,, who tf wrote that. it went full crack fic. it was very weird. anyway onto 2 year old writing and ryuji punching a dude

Ryuji never considered being attracted to boys. That’s just how it was. All his life he was told by his father that “it was wrong” and “people like that don’t exist.”  
Even by people in school it was looked down upon. When asking his mother what the word gay means she looked startled for a moment, then composed herself and said “It means they are attracted to the same gender.”

“Why is it said like a joke then? People always say it like it’s something funny…”

“Some people don’t like how others can love so freely. Those people are bitter and only care about themselves. Don’t talk to those kinds of people, okay Ryuji?”

He was in middle school when he asked that question.

When Ryuji went to Shujin as a first year, he noticed a lot of boys using words like fag and homo, instead of gay. Ryuji wasn’t dumb. The internet exists for a reason. 

When he joined the track team he started thinking about things.

Ryuji is not used to having friends. A simple back pat after telling him that was a good run or an arm slung around his shoulder from his friends on the team was all it took to realize that he wants to be touched more. But it’s gay to ask so he’ll keep that to himself. (Even though every time it happens he thinks about it again. And every time he thinks he calls himself stupid and stops)

The track team didn’t last long. It makes the thoughts go away, so Ryuji considers this a small victory, even after Kamoshida.

It’s barely his second semester and he was already getting in trouble.

He’s 15 now. Still a first year, but older nonetheless. It’s when he noticed that people get picked on a lot more than in middle school.

It’s was a girl in his class. What’s her name again? Yama...guchi? Honestly, Ryuji didn’t know, he just noticed she got picked on a lot. It was for the normal stuff at first, she was too short, she had glasses, and she was a little mousy. Ya know, normal kid stuff. 

He had heard the rumors start after a few weeks back from summer break.

“Did you hear? Yamaguchi asked out Haya Itō!”

“What? You sure you have the right person? Yamaguchi is way too much of a coward to do something like that.”

“I heard she asked her on the roof two days ago! But it’s not like she even had a chance. Itō has a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but that’s not the only reason, ya know? This means Yamaguchi’s gay!”

“I can’t believe she outed herself out like that! She gonna get it even worse from now on…”

“Well, it’s not like we can do anything, ya know? Besides it’s Itō’s problem now…”

Ryuji thinks that girls are stupid for gossiping about another girls love life.

Ryuji can say he got into a fight his second semester as a first year. He’s not proud of it, but he doesn’t regret it.

Haya Itō and her boyfriend ganged up on Yamaguchi after practice one day.

“You’ve got some balls to just go out and ask my girl on a date…” 

“You know what’s it gonna be like from here on out, right?” 

When Ryuji goes to round the corner, he hesitated for a moment. 

“You didn’t think a fagot like you would actually have a chance with me, right?”

When he hears a quiet, little voice plead, “ _please I just wanna go home…_ ” he makes his decision.

When Ryuji rounds the corner he sees a glimmer of hope in Yamaguchi’s eyes.  
_Finally_ , they said, _a way out._

“What do you think your doing, huh?” Confidence he didn’t know he had trickled into his voice.

“Hm? Oh, it’s Sakamoto. You know, you shouldn’t be butting in other people’s conversations. Buzz off!” Itō’s boyfriend was surprisingly persistent. For most people it would just take one look. _Nobody wants to mess with the “track traitor”._

“You know, you shouldn’t be making fun of people just by being themselves. You need to step away from her or I’ll…!”

“Or _what?_ ” Itō’s boyfriend interrupts, “You gonna punch me Sakamoto? You’re already on thin ice with the coaches because of the track team. You really gonna stand up for a fag like her?”

For the first time in a while, Ryuji’s not sure what to say.

“Touma~” _ah, Itō’s boyfriend’s name is Touma._ “let’s just leave him alone. Sakamoto will walk away like always. Just focus on Yamaguchi for me ok? I don’t want her making the same mistake twice. Isn’t that right Yamaguchi?”

Yamaguchi looked nervous, _scared almost_ , but she just nods and says “please, Sakamoto has nothing to do with this! Just let us go home and I’ll forget all about it!”

“Ohhhh, I see how it is. You guys start a gay club or somethin’? Fagots stick together _amiright?_ ”

Ryuji doesn’t remember much after that. 

He remembers the principal's office and his mother apologizing for him again. _I wish Mom didn’t have to do that again. I’m a dumbass! Think before you move Sakamoto!_

The car ride home isn’t much better.

“Ryuji…” His mother tries to start a sentence but fails to find the words for it. Ryuji understands. Mom just got him out of major trouble and all he did was sulk. 

“They called her a fagot.” 

“Wha-“ his mother starts again, only to have her eyes widen with recognition at the word. “Ryuji, walk me through this slowly. They were making fun of her and you stepped in and started a fight right in front of them?”

“I didn’t-! I mean-! They’ve been bullying her for days and I couldn’t just stand there and watch! Then when I went over to stop them they started bringin’ up the past like it was my fault!” Ryuji was getting worked up just talking about it! How dare they insult someone just because of who they like?

“Ryuji.” His mother's voice ringing true through his internal thoughts and calming him down. “It’s just-“ he started, not sure how to make this a complete thought. He slumped his head against the headrest behind him. 

“Ryuji… they called you something too, didn’t they?” 

Ryuji can do nothing as teardrops fall down his face

Ryuji hopes his second year will be better.


End file.
